Clouds, O clouds O sighs of dreamers behind windows Clouds, O clouds Teach me the joy of evanescence! ***** Does a man love in order to mourn or to rejoice, does he embrace in order to end or to begin? I am not asking in order to be answered, but in order to shout in the prisons of knowledge. No man can find relief without prior clouds, nor can he achieve victo***** O God, ask me, what do you want to know? I will tell you: All the curses are washed away by the miracle of a meeting! The embers of your eyes, my sweetheart, embrace my devils. You bring me down to the bottom below water and you raise me to heights loftier than freedom. I close my eyes, my life, my moon on you and so, no dreams can betray me. O fountain of my inner jungles O ferocious ewe of my inner wolf, Who will ever fear for his life when desire’s angle is awake, laughing? No one is born in the world every day. Only eyes that allure other eyes are daily born! One look Only a look And your eyes carrying the peace of sin will erase the memory of fear, and the ease of obtaining will be fenced by the storm of ease! ***** O milky-white envelope of strength O visible surface of the sea and concealed countenance of the moon O soothing reassurance of my drowning O equalizer of my dream and your movements, of my disappointment and your wonder O fragrance of roots controlling the reins of the earth O little one carrying the burden of compensating for death, For life and death, O one veiled by her nakedness Confused with her fragrance Whose fragrance is confused with the lost object I seek O one confused with her shadow Whose shadow is confused with my body O one confused with her hair Whose hait is confused with my wings O one confused with her playful sauciness Whose playful sauciness is confused with my freedom O one confused with her sweetness Whose sweetness is confused with my avidity O one confused with her voice Whose voice is confused with my sleep O one confused with her dress Whose dress is confused with my yearning O one confused with her merriment Whose merriment is confused with my envy O one confused with her thighs Whose thighs are confused with my renewal O one confused with her silence Whose silence is confused with my waiting O one confused with her patience Whose patience is confused with my country O one confused with her forms Whose forms are confused with my soul O one confused with her half-nakedness Whose half-nakedness is confused with my hope With my hope for the continued fervor of love, O one on whom I close my will and my surrender You have not said we are strangers Because u know how many likes of us there are Among all those who go beyond their eyes’ range… ***** And I fear you! How can a man love the one who causes his fear? Who would push out a warm person into the icy cold Or a person enjoying the cool shade into the midday heat? Who would cast a little boy out or deprive a suckling babe of his mother’s breast? Why does bad time come When the breast had not been fully munched? No man can find relief without prior clouds nor can he achieve victory without prior payment of tribute Let fate have its wisdom, I will have mine Let fate have its destiny, I will have my mercy Nothing has saved us, my sweetheart, but madness Your net has distracted me from life, And your amusement has protected me, The fetters of your hands have bound my heart with song And the embers of your eyes have embraced my devils ***** The color of my self is that of the eyes of killed selves, those destroyed behind a certain door, behind a certain smile. It is always a betrayal, an intolerable betrayal Greater than any loss, A betrayal that robs you of your life,man, That robs you of your mother and father That robs you of your earth and your heaven, A betrayal greater than your lap, my God, And no one can do anything! No one can do anything! ***** At one time there was nobody. The air breathed through the branches And water streamed away and left the world behind it. Noices and forms were the props pf my dream, And there was nobody. There was nobody without wings. There was no need for disguise, nor for love and killing. Everybody was there and there was nobody. Nobody was ferocious. The mother was above everyone and the child was with his wings. And like a thunderbolt Deadly pain annouced it was here, In my tender inside, and no one could see it. And it started to hurt, to cut to the quick Then pile up the soil of my face, On my eyes On my amulet-cloud. Nothing remained of those vineyards But a memory that I recalled or that recalled me, At one time i killed and at another I was killed And evil was either at my back or in my heart!... ***** I raised my fist in the face of heaven I cursed at blasphemed But tell me how could I put an end To heaven’s hell within my ribs? ***** Nothing has saved us, my sweetheart, but madness When we jumped at the fresh loss And met our shadows And so, our darknesses illuminated us And our laps became waves for the winds. ***** A poet is the savage who protects our childhood A composer is the deaf person who makes us hear A painter is the blind person who makes us see A dancer is the rigid person who makes us fly. Only what can be absent can be present And only what can cause presence can be absent. Let me then be absent in the evening’s distraction And so, let the abyss of my eyes swallow me! ***** What prayer can save? Every prayer can save! Desire is the prayer of the soul’s blood Desire is God’s face above two unknown persons And the call of the unknown person is to be given and remain unknown. Desire is the call of one prey to another prey The call of one hunter to another hunter The call of one executioner to another executioner Desire is the prayer of the soul’s blood Its horse is a winged horse And its wings Are the wings of salvation within one’s fist. ***** Clouds, O clouds On the void I have drawn my rainbow Our rainbow, O love, The rainbow of the daily miracle. Clouds, O clouds O swaying howdah of the souls My body walks behind you, woman, it walks in front of you, it disappears within you. Clouds, O clouds Bless the cursed man walking unto the very end Bless me Teach me the joy of evanescence. _______________ Translated from the arabic by Issa J. Boullata